Flashes of every conversation on race and sexuality and religion I’ve ever had in a classroom raced through my mind. This can’t be good.

It turns out that the most innocent possible side track was what prompted the question. A couple of days ago one of my kids asked me what pealla is. I told him. That was it. No controversy or any mention of the penis game.

As we talked some more I found it wasn’t an indictment at all and that she is going to start going off curriculum more, seeing as she’s quitting teaching after this year.

Teaching middle school science (reproduction)  means that in some cases, I am the first adult to talk to these kids about sex. First mention of the words “penis” and “vagina” are met with emphatic silence. A few weeks pass and the bolder students will start toying with the idea of using these words to entertain fellow students during my lesson.

I always respond to the comment or question with the same word included but louder. It usually makes them uncomfortable that I’m not just saying “penis” but that I’m saying it forcefully and at them, rather than just to the masses during a lecture. I could try to mask this behind an effort to keep control of the classroom but I’d be lying if sometimes, in the very back of my mind I”m not competing.

They are not aware of the game and they never win but I will continue to defend my reign as champion.

To start things off, I forgot to get a sub for the day. Pretty major set back right off the back. With the help of another amazingly helpful teacher I got to survive the first class of the day which I was required to attend a FCAT practice session. Everything got set up and the kids just seemed to enjoy being out of their classes. So far, so good.

Next was my planning period, so no class to worry about. We chilled in the dugouts and they exposed me to music that they thought I would consider extreme (all adults only listen to classical music) but was very tame and a bit annoying. One of the groups was making a cake with their oven. Their oven fell over because of some wind. Cake batter everywhere.

Next class, I didn’t have a plan for and the other teacher wasn’t available. So they ended up having a one class period long field day. I did explain the projects to the class but couldn’t stretch that out to any more than 5 minutes. The boys loved it because it meant an extra PE class, the girls were kid of getting tired of being outside after a few minutes though. I couldn’t really justify why they were out there, so I avoided questions for a while. One down, one to go.

Last class of the day I have the SECME class, so it was easy to get them out there without a cover story.

It was difficult to determine a winner of the solar car challenge, seeing as none of them moved at all. The bad kids went with the car and didn’t really take any of the project seriously until the last week, which is apparently not enough time.

We did get to sample some decently done shish kabobs and there were very underdone brownies from our two best groups.

I think the day was an overall success.

I had a father come in today that I wouldn’t want to run into on a late night. He had a giant frame, gold teeth and bunch of very poorly done tattoos up his neck. The way the meetings proceed the teacher generally give their presentation of the students progress then the parent asks any questions at the end. After a few teachers had given their reports, I started into mine. I told him about how his daughter ,T’yonda, does well on everything that we do in class but that her test grades were bad, indicating that she doesn’t study. I also mentioned how she hasn’t come to any tutoring and hadn’t finished a take home project a couple weeks earlier. He looked sad in a way that I don’t come across often. He told me about how he used to have a job that “wasn’t good for kids to grow up around” and that he gave up  that life so he could be there for his kids. He works a lot of hours making just over minimum wage so he can’t be there all the time. Thats not the sad part.

Mom is an alcoholic, to the degree that she doesn’t get out of bed anymore, except for using the bathroom and going to the liquor store. She has a total of seven kids. My SIXTH GRADE STUDENT is raising her own SIX YOUNGER SIBLINGS.

I just started giving her A’s on everything.

I couldn’t make out all the words she said but she told me that the boy was her cousin. She didn’t know until the announcement. It was a couple minutes before I felt comfortable enough to ask her if she wanted to see the counselors. She did.

Update: While the deputies aren’t exactly sure of what happened, the current report is that there were several adults home at the time and that a 6 year old family friend picked up the unattended gun and shot him in the head.

More recent update: It wasn’t the 6 year old at all. One of the adults shot him on purpose and blamed it on a 6 year old. He’s been arrested.

Parents.

I’m almost positive that I’ll be on youtube before the end of the day.

Looks like I wont be seeing her for a while.

Update: There was a fight between two students, one called her drunk mom (not just a random girl) who came to school and beat the girl that was fighting her daughter.

mom has a tattoo of a scorpion on her face.

Update again: Family members of some other students involved in the fight showed up. One giant guy with dreads to his knees brought his pit bull.

six cop cars sitting in the courtyard at one point.

drunk scorpion mom is probably getting charged with 100 child-related crimes as I type.

Update yet again: Made the local news. They got one side of the story, but neglected to mention that the “victims” mom came to the school and had to be escorted from the school last week involving this feud.

Also, the zero tolerance policy is a joke. We are supposed to call bullying something else unless its really serious; at which point the students sign a “no contact contract” which just means that next time they interact they both get ISS. Its gotta be hate crime level stuff for the administrator to actually take measures that earn a zero tolerance label.

Mom claims that the school has been ignoring her pleas for help. Until this incident, it was not at all clear who was at fault. They were both being shitty middle schoolers to each other.

As quietly as I could I said “I am trying very hard to hold back an unbelievable rage. I’m not speaking to everyone when I say…you will regret this.”

Of course this is an empty threat, which only digs the hole deeper, but at the time I wasn’t thinking clearly.

It has a little extra sting because there is no use for them. No student is that curious about another’s grades. This was a crime committed against me…just to fuck up my day a little. I’m pretty sure I know who it was and I foresee myself being very short with him and judging his answers a little more harshly…subconsciously, of course. In his case, it wont matter because a low F and a slightly less low F still end up the same on report cards.